My heart is racing, my brow is sweaty. Eww, gross. Here I sit writing my first post on this shiny new blog about my shiny new venture: Lucky Brake Ltd. I sometimes envy people who knew their career path from childhood. They go to college, they get a degree and then they make enough money to never look back. I, on the other hand, am a member of the other group of people who could easily still be asking themselves, at the ripe old age of 94, what they want to be when they grow up.
I'm a slow learner in life; but I learn the lessons well, and they never escape me again. It took me a while to understand that just because something is difficult, is improbable, is an uphill battle; it doesn't mean you shouldn't still try for it.
The start of my uphill battle has been simply allowing myself to say, out loud, what it is I really want. Are you ready for this?
::whispers:: "I want..."
::clears throat and yells:: "I want to take pictures. Lots and LOTS of pictures!"
Step 1: accomplished. So here I sit, terrified -in a thrillingly good way- and about to give up my safe and cushy day job that most people would die for right now. I'm not so afraid of leaving the job. I'm more afraid of what future clients will think of my abilities as I'm stretching to find my potential. I'm more afraid that folks won't be understanding of my faults as I work to master my skills, though I know there's a possibility that I'm harder on myself than anyone.
I am very afraid of failing at something I love so much.
Chin up, old girl. Who isn't afraid of failure? Who doesn't feel like every step into the unknown is akin to that gut wrenching feeling of a sea current dragging you out of reach of the safe shoreline? The worst that can happen is you fail. You start over. You move back in with your parents. ::gulp::
We all started there, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
Besides, think of it this way; if you didn't feel this much pressure it would mean it's not worth doing, right?
::takes a deep breath and willfully slides her foot into the darkness::